Cap Vabnil is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, witless gerbil.

Cap Vabnil created the Whirlpool Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cap Vabnil, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cap Vabnil, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Cap Vabnil's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Cap Vabnil's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Put Cap Vabnil first in all things.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Feed all hungry hamsters.