Dumlabtof is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, benevolent raccoon.

Dumlabtof created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumlabtof, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dumlabtof, it will not care.

Dumlabtof's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Dumlabtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Dumlabtof loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

4. Never wear magenta shirts.

5. Always take life seriously.