Cussmetlad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, merciful shark.

Cussmetlad created the universe three million years ago.

If you believe in Cussmetlad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cussmetlad, he will not invite you to parties.

Cussmetlad's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Cussmetlad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.