Ganlarpnell is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sapient wombat.

Ganlarpnell created the world four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganlarpnell, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ganlarpnell, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ganlarpnell's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Ganlarpnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never look at galaxies.