Sakfadnuljab Nulflatmon is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, omnipotent aardvark.

Sakfadnuljab Nulflatmon created the Milkyway six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakfadnuljab Nulflatmon, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sakfadnuljab Nulflatmon, she will torture you forever.

Sakfadnuljab Nulflatmon's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Sakfadnuljab Nulflatmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Never hurt doves.

3. Never feed coconuts to moths while wearing violet trousers.

4. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

5. Never play with disobedient children.