Buslaktaf is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fussy penguin.

Buslaktaf created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Buslaktaf, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Buslaktaf, he will turn you into a plant.

Buslaktaf's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Buslaktaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Respect your elders.

4. You must never eat pineapples.

5. Always help nematodes in need.