Nuttditcud is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ill-tempered fish.

Nuttditcud created the solar system six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttditcud, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nuttditcud, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nuttditcud's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Nuttditcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue coats.

2. Do not hurt ants.

3. Nuttditcud loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.