Beplaphab is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, cheerful rat.

Beplaphab created the planet Venus five billion years ago.

If you believe in Beplaphab, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Beplaphab, it will turn you into a frog.

Beplaphab's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Beplaphab's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Beplaphab.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Put Beplaphab first in all things.

5. Never eat onions.