Wantargweg Gumquimpankambiss is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, prudent guinea pig.

Wantargweg Gumquimpankambiss created silver five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wantargweg Gumquimpankambiss, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wantargweg Gumquimpankambiss, she will turn you into a mole.

Wantargweg Gumquimpankambiss' most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Wantargweg Gumquimpankambiss' Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always look after injured capybaras.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.