Nilgangan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unfair gerbil.

Nilgangan created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilgangan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nilgangan, she will make you grow a tail.

Nilgangan's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Nilgangan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Worship no other gods but Nilgangan.

4. Nilgangan must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Feed all hungry doves.