Haszakrag is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-knowing faun.

Haszakrag created the Whirlpool Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Haszakrag, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Haszakrag, it will turn you into a rock.

Haszakrag's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Haszakrag's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Haszakrag seven times a day.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Never talk about pigs.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.