Xemfitsis is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, wise squirrel.

Xemfitsis created the planet Saturn five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xemfitsis, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Xemfitsis, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Xemfitsis' most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Xemfitsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never sit near otters.