Kiknurflanflap is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciless dryad.

Kiknurflanflap created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kiknurflanflap, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kiknurflanflap, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kiknurflanflap's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Kiknurflanflap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never wear mauve hats.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Run away if five pigs approach from the north.