Podmotwig is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, self-assured turtle.

Podmotwig created Mount Everest two million years ago.

If you believe in Podmotwig, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Podmotwig, she will cry a lot.

Podmotwig's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Podmotwig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five otters approach from the west.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never feed figs to dogs while wearing indigo boots.

4. Never wear orange skirts.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.