Hatsomkop is a god.

It takes the form of a small, resourceful mouse.

Hatsomkop created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatsomkop, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hatsomkop, it will destroy your home planet.

Hatsomkop's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Hatsomkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Never bounce near geese.

3. Moths are not to be trusted.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not hurt seals.