Bognegven is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, merciful ferret.

Bognegven created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bognegven, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bognegven, he will remove you from existence.

Bognegven's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bognegven's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dolphins.

2. Never eat strawberries.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Worship no other gods but Bognegven.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.