Stiplakcud is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, conceited bear.

Stiplakcud created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiplakcud, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Stiplakcud, it will turn you into a tree.

Stiplakcud's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Stiplakcud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always help sick eagles.