Venwapkem is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, competent owl.

Venwapkem created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Venwapkem, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Venwapkem, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Venwapkem's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Venwapkem's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Venwapkem nine times a day.

2. Never sing in the presence of hamsters.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Do not kill moths.

5. Fast once a month.