Goddamtail is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic squid.

Goddamtail created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Goddamtail, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Goddamtail, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Goddamtail's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Goddamtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest indigo.

2. Always look after injured dogs.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Never talk about seals.