Bagdissbonkdapzigrakfunzan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, annoying pig.

Bagdissbonkdapzigrakfunzan created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagdissbonkdapzigrakfunzan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bagdissbonkdapzigrakfunzan, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bagdissbonkdapzigrakfunzan's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bagdissbonkdapzigrakfunzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Hide from magenta sheep for they are unholy.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.