Gessguttit is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic octopus.

Gessguttit created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessguttit, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gessguttit, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gessguttit's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Gessguttit's Holy Commandments

1. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

2. You must love Gessguttit.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Gessguttit on top of all buildings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never wear rings.