Stafvanarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unthinking gerbil.

Stafvanarn created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafvanarn, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stafvanarn, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Stafvanarn's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Stafvanarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Hide if seven ducks approach from the west.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Stafvanarn.