Hoggemrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate chicken.

Hoggemrutt created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hoggemrutt, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hoggemrutt, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hoggemrutt's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Hoggemrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never wear ear rings.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.