Gonsantabsad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, happy wyvern.

Gonsantabsad created Mount Everest three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonsantabsad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gonsantabsad, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gonsantabsad's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gonsantabsad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always help otters.

4. Gonsantabsad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never look in ponds.