Futbusquag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unselfish eagle.

Futbusquag created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futbusquag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Futbusquag, he will turn you into a goat.

Futbusquag's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Futbusquag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never sing near sharks.

5. Never mention hamsters.