Batripved is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, annoying hedgehog.

Batripved created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batripved, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Batripved, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Batripved's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Batripved's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never look at comets.