Bonkarmnel is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, calm armadillo.

Bonkarmnel created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkarmnel, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bonkarmnel, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Bonkarmnel's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bonkarmnel's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three snails approach from the west.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bonkarmnel.

4. Doves are not to be trusted.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.