Bopfengut is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, loving whale.

Bopfengut created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopfengut, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bopfengut, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bopfengut's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bopfengut's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

3. Retreat if seven grasshopers approach from the east.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never paint your back cyan.