Gilkimfetmit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, slow walrus.

Gilkimfetmit created the Large Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilkimfetmit, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gilkimfetmit, he will turn you into a rock.

Gilkimfetmit's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gilkimfetmit's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat rice.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Never eat green fruit.