Hubtinmet is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid bear.

Hubtinmet created a Higgs boson five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubtinmet, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hubtinmet, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Hubtinmet's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Hubtinmet's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not hurt doves.