Dussfigcencar Bissflatstaf is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, tiresome squirrel.

Dussfigcencar Bissflatstaf created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussfigcencar Bissflatstaf, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dussfigcencar Bissflatstaf, it will not invite you to parties.

Dussfigcencar Bissflatstaf's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Dussfigcencar Bissflatstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.