Quaglatquag is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, omnipotent fairy.

Quaglatquag created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaglatquag, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quaglatquag, he will ignore you.

Quaglatquag's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Quaglatquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near voles.

2. Always help snails.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.