Larnquafarfnullflamcarkanzen is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, sage lizard.

Larnquafarfnullflamcarkanzen created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnquafarfnullflamcarkanzen, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Larnquafarfnullflamcarkanzen, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Larnquafarfnullflamcarkanzen's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Larnquafarfnullflamcarkanzen's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

3. Never paint your arms mauve.

4. Do not take Larnquafarfnullflamcarkanzen's name in vain.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.