Gidkammin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, clever seal.

Gidkammin created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidkammin, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gidkammin, he will turn you into a slug.

Gidkammin's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Gidkammin's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Never eat garlic.

5. Gidkammin loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.