Lapladgig is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, dishonest faun.

Lapladgig created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Lapladgig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lapladgig, she will not invite you to parties.

Lapladgig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Lapladgig's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lapladgig.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Do not speak about lentils.

5. Lapladgig must be the most important thing in your life.