Honzoglib is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-knowing walrus.

Honzoglib created an electron three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Honzoglib, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Honzoglib, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Honzoglib's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Honzoglib's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of tortoises.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. You must never eat corn.