Legpoptap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish seal.

Legpoptap created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Legpoptap, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Legpoptap, she will turn you into a slug.

Legpoptap's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Legpoptap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight birds approach from the west.

2. Never talk about great tits.

3. Legpoptap loves manatees, so they must be respected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not stand on grass.