Tafhivbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciful wyrm.

Tafhivbaf created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafhivbaf, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tafhivbaf, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tafhivbaf's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Tafhivbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Tafhivbaf on top of all buildings.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Never look in ponds.