Yikgat is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, calm clam.

Yikgat created Europe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikgat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yikgat, it will turn you into a mole.

Yikgat's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Yikgat's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yikgat.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Yikgat on top of all buildings.

5. Feed all hungry mites.