Konsagsaw Bastvolxem is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, caring zebra.

Konsagsaw Bastvolxem created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konsagsaw Bastvolxem, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Konsagsaw Bastvolxem, he will turn you into a rock.

Konsagsaw Bastvolxem's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Konsagsaw Bastvolxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Konsagsaw Bastvolxem's name in vain.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about stars.