Ditbidcub is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, benevolent aardvark.

Ditbidcub created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ditbidcub, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ditbidcub, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ditbidcub's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Ditbidcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to turtles while wearing yellow skirts.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.