Targladhen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, fast raccoon.

Targladhen created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targladhen, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Targladhen, it will turn you into a puffin.

Targladhen's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Targladhen's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry manatees.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never feed peas to eagles while wearing indigo corsets.

5. Run away if five ducks approach from the north.