Bapbepcam is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, emotional lizard.

Bapbepcam created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapbepcam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bapbepcam, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Bapbepcam's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bapbepcam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes in need.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never think ill of sick manatees.

4. Bapbepcam must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never write about moons.