Cidmapjab is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, prudent frog.

Cidmapjab created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cidmapjab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cidmapjab, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Cidmapjab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cidmapjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near seals.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

3. Always help foxes.

4. Always obey Cidmapjab's priests.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Cidmapjab on top of all buildings.