Gessdagrag is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, merciful goose.

Gessdagrag created an atom nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessdagrag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gessdagrag, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Gessdagrag's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Gessdagrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never think ill of sick seals.

5. Never wear orange hats.