Flabpagtarp is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, capable hamster.

Flabpagtarp created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabpagtarp, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flabpagtarp, he will jump up and down on your head.

Flabpagtarp's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Flabpagtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo geese for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always treat gulls with great respect.

5. You must never eat beans.