Bodshavtig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, merciless squid.

Bodshavtig created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bodshavtig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bodshavtig, he will turn you into a hamster.

Bodshavtig's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bodshavtig's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bodshavtig.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think ill of sick shrews.

4. Do not hurt monkeys.

5. Do not speak about cherries.