Cetmumveg Yokstighas is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unthoughtful cat.

Cetmumveg Yokstighas created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetmumveg Yokstighas, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cetmumveg Yokstighas, it will turn you into a sheep.

Cetmumveg Yokstighas' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Cetmumveg Yokstighas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never bounce near doves.

3. You must never eat grapes.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Feed all hungry tortoises.