Ruttlen is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, uncaring squirrel.

Ruttlen created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttlen, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ruttlen, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Ruttlen's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Ruttlen's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Ruttlen on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Tapirs are not to be trusted.