Ontrawtin is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, witty dove.

Ontrawtin created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontrawtin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ontrawtin, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ontrawtin's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Ontrawtin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always wear orange.